Jesus, John Irving.

Bitter much?

From The First Post (via BookGlutton):

I always get some terrible reviews. When you've written 11 novels and 14 books, being reviewed is largely an exercise in being condescended to by your inferiors. I'm not really concerned about book reviewers. They don't write books themselves. Book reviewers lie. It's been my experience frequently to read a review of a new novel and hear a reviewer say how it ill-compares to a previous novel that that reviewer also ill-reviewed. If you practice writing novels, if you begin a novel by planning it first, which I always do, it's... a piece of architecture. This novel isn't bloated. I've been writing novels since I was 26. People who don't write them can't tell me how to do it.

That's a great way to get decent reviews.  It's like going into a restaurant and being mean to the waitress before she gives you your food.  Hello!  She's handling your food!!  BE NICE!!