Since no one else wants to read them...

From the Guardian, a list of things Madonna's kids must and mustn't do while they visit their father:

Some are quite sensible, or at least understandable: the boys are not allowed to read newspapers or magazines; Guy should not discuss the separation; they should be allowed to call their mother; they shouldn't be introduced to any new female friends Guy might have accrued. Then there are the less understandable ones: all water they drink must be Kabbalah water, their toys must not be "spiritually" unsound - but these are par for the Madonna course. What really raises the eyebrows is the last order: David must be read the English Roses books that Madonna wrote.

My emphasis, obviously.