It's. Eighty. Cents.

Phone:  Ring ring.

Me:  Hi there, what can I do for you?

Patron:  I'd like to renew my books.  They're due today.

Me:  No problem.  They're renewed until the first -- but just as a heads-up, they were actually a few days late, so there's now a small fine on your account. 

Patron:  ...

            ...

            But the books weren't stamped!

Me:  Oookay.  I went ahead and deleted your fine, so there's nothing to worry about.

Me, UNSAID:  BUT I'D LOVE TO KNOW HOW YOU KNEW THEY WERE DUE 'TODAY', SINCE THE BOOKS WEREN'T STAMPED.  I'D HAVE BOUGHT IT IF YOU'D SAID THE BOOKS WERE STAMPED INCORRECTLY.  BUT NOT STAMPED AT ALL?  COME ON NOW.

Patron:  Good.  Thank you. 

Me, clenching teeth:  Oh, you're very welcome.