Jacob Black's misery might not be over.

Let's just all hope that for once, Cleolinda isn't right:

"So the tale of Nahuel is left on this really weird note, right before Bella and Edward run off to go have sex again unto forever, the end, with this half-vampire kid staring at the female Cullen-Swans. And now, today, we discover that BOTH HALF-VAMPIRE KIDS HAVE SEA MONSTER NAMES. How totally made for each other are these two? He's grown to full teenage maturity, she willgrow to full teenage maturity, he never made out with her mom, it's perfect. Except that, no, Jacob has already imprinted on Renesmee, and, as Jacob explained all the way back in New Moon, everyone who gets imprinted on pretty much imprints back because "it's hard to resist that kind of love and devotion." (Yes, I can quote that direct, specific line from memory. That kind of bullshit gets burnt into your brain.) So we have what would be, in any other book, a blatant setup for a future relationship ("he'll have some competition"). Even at the time I gave it the side-eye, it stuck out so weirdly. Do you see what this means? Do you? IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, YOU GUYS. SHE HAD A PERFECT MATCHING HALF-VAMPIRE SEA-MONSTER LOVE INTEREST FOR RENESMEE! IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE! IT'S RIGHT THERE! But instead, ~Nessie~ is stuck whether she likes it or not--she doesn't have a choice to like it or not because SHE'S THREE MINUTES OLD--with her mother's ex-boyfriend who delivered her from Bella's bloody mangled body and nearly threw her out the window but instead imprinted on her irrevocably as his soulmate."

Ooog.  Click on through and read the whole post.  I'd like to not be the only one punching myself in the face this morning.

And, no, by the way.  I still haven't read Bree Tanner.