A sampling of quotes from...

...Hilary Duff's new novel (it sounds AWESOME*), as well as a list of Bieber-isms that are so vomitrocious that they left me hoping the teen heartthrobs from my childhood weren't quite so saccharine.

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*In case you weren't sure, that was sarcasm. The quotes are actually amazingly (though not shockingly) gag-tastic.