"I'm trying to help you, you ungrateful jerk!"

That was me this afternoon.

Driving home, I saw a snake making his way across the road.

Since there are few things more depressing than a half-smooshed snake, I stopped my car, got out, and walked over to move him along.

But he was going too fast for me to catch him, so I just wandered behind him and shooed him along and basically just stood in the road and blocked traffic.

But THEN, he decided he HATED me, and turned around and started trying to BITE me. The NERVE. SO ungracious.

But while there are few things more depressing than a half-smooshed snake, there are ALSO few things LESS intimidating than a ticked-off garter snake. I mean, really.

So, despite his best efforts to prevent it, I saved him from Certain Death.

Lesson learned? Nature's the worst.

DON'T FORGET: IT'S THE LAST DAY TO NOMINATE TITLES FOR THE 2011 CYBILS.

The more books you nominate, the less time I have to spend outside.

So help me out, eh?