Moby Clique: Bard Academy, #3 -- Cara Lockwood

Moby-CliqueI love the title of this book so much that not only does it make me laugh every time I look at it, I ALSO feel the need to keep flashing it at random co-workers*.

Miranda Tate is back at Bard Academy—a private school situated on a tiny island off the coast of Maine that specializes in teaching delinquents and troublemakers that also just so happens to secretly employ the ghosts of dead authors—for her junior year. And, due to her younger sister Lindsay's latest escapade—driving their father's Landrover through the front of their stepmother's massively tacky boutique—she's got company.

So, now, in addition to her ongoing love triangle with her milquetoast ex-boyfriend Ryan and the perpetually cranky Heathcliff (yes, that Heathcliff, straight out of Wuthering Heights), her pain-in-the-rear-and-massively-unfair dorm mother (Sylvia Plath), and constant run-ins with resident she's-such-a-horrible-bitch-why-on-earth-is-she-popular IT girl Parker Rodham, Miranda's got to keep the secret of Bard Academy from her sister AND keep her out of trouble.

Unfortunately, Lindsay has other ideas...

Like the other books in the series, Moby Clique, despite its literary references, isn't a "literary" read. It's disposable, competently written fun that would make for a ridiculously entertaining television show. Like, Gossip Girl crossed with Buffy crossed with, I dunno, something a tier lower, like a book-themed Charmed or something.

It bears a striking resemblance to Buffy in that the core group is comprised of Miranda, who's basically the Chosen One; Samir, who's into wisecracking about how cowardly he is; and a Wiccan who has a thing for Samir. (There's actually an extra friend in there, but work with me.) 

Miranda's romance with brooding brooder Heathcliff is, like the romance between The Buff and Angel, forbidden. (As I've said before, Lockwood's Heathcliff is way more likable than Bronte's, though he certainly falls into the not-good-boyfriend-material-due-to-his-violent-temper category.) Lastly, mean girl Parker easily lines up with Cordelia, though I'm pretty sure that she doesn't secretly have even a fraction of Cordelia's hidden heart, but now that she (SPOILER) knows the Bard Academy secret, things might change.

So, as any Buffy fan knows, it's a formula tailor-made for fun.

A few notes:

  • Lindsay is so very unlikeable that I'd have been comfortable if she'd died in one of Skeleton Island's many OSHA-unapproved pit-traps. Her about-face into niceness at the end didn't convince me that she was a worthwhile human being. SERIOUSLY. I hated her. SHE'S AWFUL. Only redeeming moment: When she calls Heathcliff "Mr. Grumpy Pants". TO HIS FACE.
  • OH MY GOD, TEH TYPOS. I'd have been surprised to see so many in an advanced copy, but this was a finished copy. Not cool.
  • There have been jokes in the previous installments about the Ancient Indian Burial Ground trope. Hilariously, it turns out, there's totally one on the island. Hijinks ensue.
  • Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca figures in. That made me so happy that I almost fainted, and it suddenly made Ryan much more interesting.
  • Favorite line. Samir, comparing their situation to horror movies: "Yes, and that's exactly why I want to go back. Don't you think I know I'm marked for death? I'm a minority and I'm a total wimp."

Fun stuff.

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*A move which ALWAYS results in said co-worker derisively saying, "Does that say MTV Books?" To which I ALWAYS reply, "YEAH." And then I get THE LOOK. And then I start whining (loudly), "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP. JUST LOOK AT THE AWESOME TITLE."

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Author page.

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Book source: Bought.