“It was like ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for kids.”

If that is truly what the complainant got out of The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian—if, of course, she actually read the whole thing, which is never a safe assumption in these cases—I weep for the state of her reading comprehension.

From the New York Daily News:

Bowing to pressure from the outraged parents and after inquiries from the Daily News, the principal of Public School/Middle School 114 in Rockaway Park announced Wednesday that “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian” was no longer required reading.

All incoming sixth-graders had been expected to write a graded-essay on the book, parents said.

A discussion about whether or not The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian is the right fit for a required reading assignment for sixth graders? Totally worth having.

Labelling it a "book on masturbation"? COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.

That's like saying, I dunno, that To Kill a Mockingbird is about ham.

Or The Hunger Games is about archery.

Or that Inexcusable is about soccer.

Or that The Outsiders is about robbing grocery stores.

All of those books feature those elements, but THEY ARE NOT DEFINED BY THEM.

Anyway, AUUUUUUUGH.