A new age, a new round of rude questions from strangers.

So, back in the olden days, when I was a fresh-faced early twenties, it was:

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SETTLE DOWN, YOUNG LADY?

And then, once I was married, it was:

SO WHEN YOU GOING TO PUT A BUN IN THAT OVEN, ANYWAY?

(Mostly, people would ask when I was going to "have kids". But, yes, a man literally asked me that question in those words once. And went so far as to put his hand on my OVEN AREA.)

But yesterday, I realized that I have ROUNDED A CORNER into a NEW PHASE OF LIFE.

Patron: So, how old are you?

Me: *tries to remember own age and fails* Um, late thirties?

Patron: OH, SO YOU'LL BE STARTING MENOPAUSE SOON, THEN?

Me: I... *jawdrop*

I FIND IT SHOCKING THAT THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO HAVE REACHED ADULTHOOD AND STILL HAVEN'T REALIZED THESE QUESTIONS ARE ALL WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE AND ARE ALSO BASED ON SOME PRETTY GD MASSIVE ASSUMPTIONS.