Christmas Evil (1980, watched on Shudder):

Also known as You Better Watch Out and/or Terror in Toyland, this is basically a biopic about the I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus kid… if said kid was scarred for life by seeing Mommy and Santa having sexytimes and then grew up to be an adult obsessed with Santa and Christmas… who then snapped and started murdering ‘naughty’ people.

So, low budget psychological horror more in the vein of Fade to Black than Silent Night Deadly Night, which is a straightforward slasher? Decidedly not, like, a cinematic masterwork… buuut I have a feeling that it’s going to end up in our regular holiday rotation, because we are who we are.

Blood Beat (IMDb says 1983, Wikipedia and Amazon say 1982, Shudder says 1988, so I have no idea what’s going on; we watched it on Shudder):

Some college-aged kids go home to rural Wisconsin for a good old-fashioned deer-hunting Christmas, and the son brings his new girlfriend. New girlfriend and son’s mom give each other the creeps… and it turns out it’s for good reason because the son’s mom is psychic and maybe the son’s girlfriend is as well, because shortly thereafter, she gets possessed by the soul of an angry samurai warrior who is inexplicably ghosting around stabbing people with a glowing blue sword?

Also there was a flying can of TAB?

The score was a combination of music that seemed to have been composed with an Atari AND some well-known orchestral pieces?

The daughter was big into wearing shorty-shorts with legwarmers that pretty much made up the rest of what would have been her pants, so I’m not sure why she didn’t just wear pants?

The kids were REALLY into Monopoly and the mom had Glowing Psychic Power Hands and there was Unexplained Pyrokinesis and I have no idea what really happened in this movie or why but I can’t WAIT to watch it again???

Black Christmas (1974) poster — *Black Christmas* (1974) poster

Rewatches:

Black Christmas (1974, watched on Shudder):

This is easily my favorite Christmas horror movie, and probably that makes me super-basic, but whatever, I guess I’m used to that by now.

If you haven’t seen it: Deranged killer targets a sorority house for never-entirely-explained reasons, starting with obscene & threatening phone calls, and ramping up from there.

Margot Kidder! Olivia Hussey! John Saxon! Keir Dullea (playing a character I despise more every time I rewatch it (also: if you haven’t seen Bunny Lake is Missing, it’s GREAT and he is also The Worst in that one))! A townie hockey player with an awesome—AWESOME—coat! A supremely doofus-y police sergeant! Also it’s Canadian!

Jack Frost (1997, watched on Shudder):

Not the Michael Keaton one! Not! I Repeat! Not! The Michael Keaton one!

That one doesn’t have a decapitation-by-sled.

En route to execution, a serial killer is accidentally transformed into a super-powered snowman. (Just roll with it.) He decides to use his new powers for EVIL and goes after the small-town sheriff who brought him down.

Basically, if you’re a fan of the later, absurdly puntastic Child’s Play movies, you’d probably like this one as well?

TW: The snowman is a rapist as WELL as a murderer.

Silent Night Deadly Night 2 (1987, watched on Shudder):

The younger brother of the killer in the first movie ALSO has some Serious Christmas Issues.

I almost prefer this one to the original? And since a good third of it is just recycled footage from the original, you’re not missing much anyway?

Weekend Watching: Christmas Horror edition